Ancedotes of the Quirly Quire

Exotic and Otherwise Events Related to the QQs

The Marshmallow

Pranks were played from time to time by members of the QQ on one another 
as well as other deserving individuals and groups. Among the more 
memorable of these was the incident which came to be known as 
"The Marshmallow.'

The fourth floor of "Old South Hall" was also called "The Rookery". John 
[Johann] and Larry lived in the northwest corner room. Their's was a 
room officially known as the "monitor's room" but little monitoring 
ever occurred. Next to this room was the bath and toilet facility [that 
also had other names attached]. David and Ed lived in the room adjacent 
and to the east but with the only north facing windows of any room in 
the dorm. Dalrie and Mitch lived directly across from Dave and Ed in a 
room on the south side.

This prank was always a covert operation in which no names were bared, 
although all evidence pointed to Johann or Larry as the culprits. 
On one occasion, cold weather - naturally - when windows weren't prone to 
being opened, the janitor for the floor placed a new deodorant pellet 
into the urinal. This pellet was removed from the urinal and hung on a 
small piece of a wire coat hanger behind the drapes in Dalrie's and 
Mitch's room.

Needless to say, in a day or so the room had quite a distinctive smell. 
This continued for several days and became more pronounced as time went by. 
One evening when several of the QQs were assembled, the drapes were opened 
somewhat and by some strange fate or fortune the "marshmallow' appeared.

The name came about by reason of the fact that Dalrie saw it and asked the 
question, "What is that, a marshmallow?" The odor quickly dissipated 
following the discovery of the offending item.
_____________

The Kilogoley

Three of the QQ members, Bob, Mitch, and Ed were physics majors and Dave 
was a physics participant though not particularly by choice.

John was noted for having rather distinctive feet. Not necessarily 
characterized by size, shape, or toenail color, but primarily by odor.

In the study of physics the matter of sound and loudness came up for 
consideration. It was noted that sound is primarily a logarithmic function 
to the ears. Thus, the familiar method of measuring the loudness is through 
the system of "bels" contracted from Alexander Graham Bell the pioneer in 
most of this work.

Thus we have the standard measure of sound as a bel, with subdivisions of 
decibels, and sounds louder than a bel measured in decabels, centabels and 
kilobels.

Realizing there was no standard for odor, the physicists of the group 
decided to standardize on a "Goley" as the measurement. This was the amount 
of odor put out by one of John's shoes. Now, most persons would find a 
decigoley offensive. John of course lived with a goley of odor, and the 
kilogoley was declared to be the absolute maximum anyone could tolerate 
before succumbing.

This was, to the best of our knowledge, the first  standard  proposed for a 
measurment of odor. It has not been universally accepted since John changed 
the amount of odor from his feet after this was made public. 
_____________

The Schick

John had what he considered, with some pride, to be a most tough 
beard. Indeed it did show up on his young face with a degree of darkness 
in late afternoon and approached "4:00 o'clock shadow". He maintained with 
some degree of pride that only a Gillette Blue Blade was sufficient to cut 
his "tough" beard off. We, of course tried to persuade him this was not 
the case and built up a very sound and logical case for "Schick disposable" 
blades as being superior.

Finally John agreed to give them a trial and when he ran out of Gillette 
Blue Blades, he bought a Shick injector with it's accompanying packet of 
injector blades. This type razor was the choice for both Dave and Ed so 
they, too, had a supply of these handy.

John was allowed to shave for several days admitting that he was indeed 
getting a pretty good shave. Then it happened! Dave and Ed took about three 
of their used blades they'd been saving, rubbed them very dull on the 
strike plate of the door, and inserted them into John's injector mechanism.

The next morning a loud expletive came from the bathroom as John shaved(?) 
He tried another blade to no avail, finally after the third attempt 
the entire razor and injector was disposed of with the vow he'd never use 
one of those lousy things again as long as time lasted. He was never 
convinced it was all a joke.
_____________


The Loving Cup

The annual contest for raising subscriptions for the "CLOCK TOWER" 
was underway. And as was usual for Union College in those days, the 
contest pitted the men's dorm against the women's dorm with all others 
lumped in a "Village Group". The winners were the ones reporting the most 
subscriptions. The prize was a "Loving Cup" to be proudly displayed in the 
appropriate dormatory or public place for visitor's viewing.

During the height of the campaign, early on, a special promotional program 
was put on during chapel in the old Ad building. The loving cup was on a 
table for display purposes to goad the participants to greater heights of 
endeavor. When the program finished, the loving cup disappeared.

This turn of events was not received kindly by the faculty, namely by the 
Dean, Dr. Ogden. Threats of retribution were proclaimed and dire conse-
quences were promised if the cup was not forthcoming and returned immedi-
ately. It wasn't. This only heightened the anticipation of where it might 
be and who had purloined the said object.

Near the end of the campaign the cup strangely reappeared. It was found 
as the schoolday commenced, hanging from a clock located in the hallway 
of the Ad Building. It was strapped there by a log chain and a Master 
Padlock. This required the maintenance crew to bring a stepladder, bolt 
cutters, and hacksaw for it's removal. Fortunately. Dr. Ogden did not
suffer the anticipated stroke all had feared.

It is hard to remember whether the men or women won, but the QQ certainly
did! (Although they were the only ones to realize this.)
_____________

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Copyright, Graphicraft, December 23, 2004.